I’ve been compiling a list of diseases I don’t have. Yet.
Leprosy Legionnaire’s Disease Bubonic Plague TB Malaria Diabetes Bird Flu Asthma Ebola Dengue fever
I expect there are one or two more which might come to mind. So that’s all right then. Fit and healthy, I’d say. Except that they’ve just told me that I can now add osteoporosis to my list of ailments. Osteoporosis?? That’s something that old ladies get. Ok, I’m old(ish), as my darling sons constantly remind me – but I’m not that old.
So much for all that running I’ve been doing for the last few years. And the extra milk I’ve been drinking. Not enough – it’s going to be medication for life now. And not just any medication. This is extra complicated, have to think about it carefully medication. It’s a tablet once a week (not so bad, really) that has to be taken on an empty stomach (first thing in the morning, then) with a big glass of water (not too tricky) to be followed by no food or drink and remaining upright for the next 30 minutes (so no sloping off back to bed). Did you get all that? I had my first go this morning and it wasn’t too bad.
I’m cross. I no longer understand the meaning of “healthy”. If asked, I’d say I was rarely ill, so long as you don’t count cancer. And I suppose it’s better to know these things before I go breaking bones, but I’m quite short enough already, thank you. I have no need for my stature to become any more diminutive. Mind you, there’s probably an algorithm out there to calculate the rate of height loss I can expect and at what point I’ll disappear to nothing. (We’ve just been watching Benjamin Button, by the way – Slumdog was much better.)
Still, I don’t have Yellow fever, Typhoid, Cholera, Polio or a zillion other things.
So I guess that’s alright then.