Apparently that is my sobriquet amongst GP1’s friends, due in part to my whimsical tendency to insist that he occasionally tears himself away from the X Box to do his homework (well I try) and in part to my – sorry, our – bizarre and totally unreasonable refusal to allow TVs, games machines or computers in the bedrooms. I found this out last weekend when we took twelve teenagers paintballing. Twelve? Yes, twelve. That’s the result of having two birthdays in the same week and then, as happened last year, choosing to have major surgery that very week. There’s a lot of making up to do. Bad planning, some might say.
Anyhow I thought it was a bit unfair to call me The worst mother in the world, albeit with a huge smile, when I’d finally got around to arranging the paintball outing. Personally, I thought The most spoiled boys in the world was much more appropriate. And all this was before I confiscated the X Box and consigned it to the darkest reaches of who knows where (I can’t tell you because they might be reading). Goodness knows what they’re calling me now.
My reason for snatching the X Box from the sitting room floor in an apoplectic fit of rage was very simple. Homework. Or, to be more precise, a lack of homework. It was the third email from this particular teacher in as many weeks telling me that my tall skinny son hadn’t done his homework. It’s maybe not such a big crime except that the night before he’d told me he had done it AND he’s doing his Highers this year AND people are bending over backwards to help him. Admittedly my questioning hadn’t been very precise: “Have you got any homework?” rather than “Have you done that English homework that’s in your diary?” But still. Give me a crying baby to look after any day.
It was just a good job he wasn’t in the house when the email arrived as I would happily have resorted to corporal/capital punishment. Or at least I might have done if I was tall enough; the X Box was well within reach though so it has gone. It might be a little tough on his highly conscientious, much more focussed younger brother, but hey! Who said life was ever fair?
I would quite like to wander off into a discourse on exactly what I think of Higher English but you would all get very bored so I may save that for another post. But however sympathetic I might feel towards GP1’s struggles, he simply has to get on and do it. So, if he wants the X Box back any time before next summer, he had better start showing willing. I do wonder what he and his friends are calling me now. Do I care? Nah.