I am wondering if that is the noise that a Russian crook makes when he’s helping himself to the credit in my bank account. I went on line to pay a bill the other night to find our account looking rather more pink than it should at this time of the month. Closer inspection revealed cash withdrawals from an ATM in St Petersburg. Hmm, I thought. That’s where Andy Murray is playing tennis this week. Actually, I didn’t think that but what I did think isn’t really printable.
It wasn’t such an enormous amount of money that our account had been entirely cleaned out. However, it would have paid for quite a number of oven cleans, or English tutorials, or birthday outings. Suffice to say, I wanted it back.
I headed for the bank the following morning. The response of the counter lady was “well, it can’t have been an ATM as it’s not a round figure”. This because one of the withdrawals was something like £172.54. “Umm, I think perhaps they use Roubles in Russia” I told the banking lady, feeling very old and wise. “It was probably a round figure in Roubles.” Anyhow, she found a more clued up colleague to help and I walked out of the bank half an hour or so later having had to set up a new account. Please note: it took half an hour to set up a new account. I didn’t need my mother’s birth certificate or my grandfather’s war record. Perhaps the Bank of Scotland are just happy to hang on to any accounts they’ve got. I’m just glad it wasn’t the Alliance and Leicester.