A recent article in The Guardian suggests that I may be able to blame my, well, slightly petite stature not on the vagaries of the gene pool or on coeliac disease or on the fact that I’m just short, no reason OK just get on with it, but indeed on my older brother and sister. So there, it’s your fault, something else for you to feel guilty about, along with that scar on my arm where you stabbed me with a pair of scissors when I was seven. Yes you did!
Unfortunately, though, it doesn’t explain why my younger brother and two sisters are also taller than me. It’s not fair!