Man disease

Our household suffers from man disease, a syndrome that will be familiar to all mothers of boys and, of course, all wives.  “Mum!  I can’t find xxxx!”  “Have you looked on your desk/in your drawer/on the shelf/behind the door?”  “Yes!” So I go and look and sure enough said item is on the desk/in the drawer/on the shelf/behind the door.  “Well it wasn’t there when I looked.”  “Of course not, dear.”

This morning’s great trauma was GP2’s calculator.  Unfortunately, my normal razor-sharp ability to know where anything belonging to anyone else is at any given time has been somewhat blunted by the little local difficulty I’m having in moving around and picking things up.  We didn’t find the calculator and he missed the bus – first time in three years that one of them has missed the bus, so I suppose that’s not too bad.  My suspicions as to the calculator’s whereabouts lie firmly with GP1 who lost his own some time ago and is not averse to “borrowing” his younger brother’s when he’s not looking.  Said older brother has lost every watch he’s ever been given, several coats & fleeces and goodness knows what else besides. 

I now refuse to spend any substantial amount of money, if any, on things that go missing in the night.  At present we’re missing the squash court key, which came off my key ring (bad mistake, that) when boy cousin was up at half term and, of more immediate concern, the waterproof jacket I bought him to go to France on Saturday.  Brand new, worn once.  Where is it and, if we can’t find it, what is he going to take to France?  The only saving grace is that it was a very cheap one I found in Lidl one day when they were selling outdoor stuff and I nipped in for some karabiners and rope that they were offering at silly prices.  Just the sort of things a girl needs in her handbag.  Cheap, maybe, but fit for purpose and not disposable – not a use-once-then-bin sort of purchase.

So I now have to find him a waterproof for France.  He may have to take his Dad’s rather more expensive jacket.  I can just hear what Dad’s going to say about that!


2 thoughts on “Man disease

  1. My husband finds himself in reverse situation to yours, outnumbered by females in household – though admittedly one of them is only 14 months old. Have to confess losing things more my crime than his – long-distance glasses being most frequent loss. Husband never grumbles when I ask his help in finding them either – beyond the odd joke that my birthday present will involve a tracking device to monitor glasses’ whereabouts at all times. Karabiners and rope? In your handbag? Are you going to abseil to France?

  2. I’m sure female domination can start very young! Unfortunately I wasn’t going to France with my eldest – it’s a school trip. They got back last night, 35 deg C most of the time, none of this torrential rain we’re enduring. Jealous? Moi? And you shouldn’t put ideas in my head – perhaps abseiling out of the window would be easier than hopping downstairs on crutches.

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